Posts Tagged ‘ army ’

Happy Memorial Day!

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Today I have been thinking a lot about the soldiers from my old unit and how similar or different soldiers further back in history were.  Joining the Army was like joining a family.  We all had to overcome together and the mission was for everybody to make it.  There was no sense of climbing ladders and kicking others down while fighting to reach the top.  We were a genuine family.  I miss my old battle buddies and I will never forget the life experiences we helped each other through.  I think the soldiers in the past probably had similar experiences growing together to become an efficient family of defenders.  Much love to all who dedicate their lives to defending ours.  Never forget that it is you that they fight for and there should be nothing else worth the sacrifice.

Family Disputes

The leaders of nations plot and scheme behind closed doors. They strategize to gain or keep the upper hand. When conflicts appear, ultimatums are set and war is waged. There is little reason to trust in these games. They are like children who have yet to learn about conflict resolution. Ironically, the people act as the parents, shouting at the children to stop fighting and resolve the matter the right way. Stop being so attached to the toy in your hand and share with your brothers and sisters. Do not forget to love your brothers and sisters. Do not forget that they ARE your brothers and sisters, all of them. If one is angry with you, it is not right to combat that anger with greater anger. That will leave the situation unresolved and it will grow in strength over time. If we are ever to be a healthy family, we will first have to fully accept that we are, indeed, a family.
Much love to ALL who are suffering from the experiences of war. Things are going to change, inevitably. Let’s steer that change somewhere beautiful.

The Desert

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Returning home from Iraq was like trying to return to sleep.  Everybody was happy and proud of me.  They wanted to celebrate by drinking and going out.  They talked about shoes and pop stars.  Famous rich girls who slept around were idolized.  Rappers who promoted materialism and degraded women were heroes.  Everybody needed one more thing to be happy, just one more thing, just one more thing… but they were never happy.  I had to hold myself back.  I was about to release way too much energy that I did not fully understand.  It formed as rage, but I held it back.

When I close my eyes I am there again.  One place in particular.  Silence in the middle of chaos.

But don’t go back there!  You are home and now you can make your life good.  You have a family and a daughter now!

My Daughter, who can always see behind my eyes.  She is awake.  I have to go back, or she will always see that burning in me.  I have to.

I close my eyes again.  I am holding a little girl who can’t breath.  One leg is open to the bone.  Everybody is moving so fast but they don’t see us.  What do I do?  I don’t know.  That man was missing his face.  Is this real?  Why is it silent?  I have seen this in a movie, I knew this was real.  What am I doing here?  What about this girl?  I had nobody to hand her to.  I had nowhere to run.  I looked in her eyes and I was given something that I can not return.

That happened in 2007.  This is the third time I posted it on here, the other 2 I deleted.  I don’t know why.  Since I have been facing it, without letting fear push it away, I have felt a great increase of clarity in all aspects of my life. I understand what it means for somebody like me to see what I have seen.  It is good to say what you really need to say.  It is even better to be who you really need to be.  Only you can know for yourself.

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